It’s Time For Serious Conversation
Welcome to Episode 32 of the Hidden Creative Podcast!
I went for a massage yesterday with the beautiful Therese. She is honestly one of the nicest people I have ever met. She genuinely cares about YOU. Not about your payment. But about you as a person. As someone who has come to her with a problem or concern. And as someone who needs help.
As I have hinted in the past, (lol at this 🤦♀️) I'm not one to ask for help. If I'm being really honest, it has always been portrayed as a sign of weekness in my life journey.
I've grown up watching my beautiful Mumma care for everyone around her, even when I know she is hurting inside - unwell, recovering, just needing a break. And not so surprising, I too struggled with what I assume to be undiagnosed postnatal depression after having Eli, and even more so after having Eva because I felt like a failure if I couldn't do it all. So I pushed myself to prove that I could - all without asking for help, and well... I'm sure you know how that went.
Why do we do this?
I think it's because we have all grown up with this. Have you? In my many conversations around this topic, it seems to be a common practise to keep on going even when you know there's something not quite right deep inside.
Well, for a little while now I have suffered with back pain from carrying the load of my cameras and equipment. Plus sitting at a computer to edit, etc. I won't bore you with all the details.
But, one day sitting at my computer, pain in my back so bad that I felt I could vomit, the little voice in my head finally said something useful. "Tay, what the **** are you doing!!!" I couldn't believe that I had let it get so bad before actually realising there was a problem.
Once I had become aware of it, it got worse and worse. Until I finally decided, it was time to no longer sit back and put up with it. It was time to ask for help.
Enter Therese 🥰
So, as I lay on her table yesterday, we chatted about this very topic. And she even explained how she does this too. The beautiful woman who was helping me, struggles to put herself first too.
It's not the first time I've had this conversation and actually, I've had this conversation A LOT over the past few weeks. I think it's because this busy time of year brings to light a problem we all struggle with. And that is that we all have this expectation that we as business owners and creatives need to do it all to be "successful". I don't even know if it's a conscious thought, it might be so wired in us that we don't even notice what were doing.
We take on board a little too much.
We push ourselves to get things done, to fit people in, to make sure it's our best Christmas yet, but we do it to the detriment of everything else. Our health. Our mindset. Our emotions. Our relationships.
And it's not good for us to stop listening to our bodies to know when to ask for help.
You stop listening to your self when you become too busy. When you put others before YOU.
Don't get me wrong, it is a beautiful quality to have. But you can't help anyone if you don't help yourself first. If you are suffering. You have nothing to pour if your cup isn't full. 🥛
So, this is where I say (and I am still learning this too), but while it's ok to be busy, you need to give yourself REMEDIATION TIME to help recover from the days of hard work, the hours of stress, the minutes of craziness. And not only at this crazy busy time of year, but always.
As a business owner you will have seasons of head down, bum up as the saying goes, and you will have seasons of uncertainty, lack, lost direction, failure, heartache, disappointment, but also happiness, joy, satisfaction, pride, excitement, nerves, achievement. And it's best practise to be grateful for it all, and to know when to listen to YOU.
To help with this, because I know you, you are in the busy right now. I wanted to share my little trick to help your mind calm for just a moment, just enough to allow you to listen to yourself, check in and make sure everything is ok. And if it's not - to give you strength to ask for help.
I'm not saying that this is the be all and end all of tricks that will change your life. NOPE!!!! What am I offering, is a pattern interruptor. Something to help bring your habits or unconscious behaviour into your awareness.
Here's my tip...
Discover what is the simplest form of joy for you that prompts you to be present.
It sounds ridiculously simple, but bare with me...
To give an example, for me - it's having a cup of tea. And not just any tea you can pick up off the shelf. I'm talking a Morning Sunshine from T2, English breakfast, actually any of the breakfast teas from T2 haha.
And for me, the joy is not only in sipping a good cuppa, but it is in boiling the jug, watching the water bubble, taking out my tea strainer, deciding on which tea cup, pinching the tea leaves out, pouring the water, and then sitting with my hands wrapped around my cup, taking sips of really hot, really earthy tasting tea.
My 5-10 minutes of heaven.
It's not just about having a cup of tea. It's about intentionally setting aside time to do something THAT TAKES TIME out of your day to do. That interrupts the patterns you have put yourself in to that make you keep going even when you need rest.
So what's your answer? What is something that is so incredibly simple and easy, that brings you joy and prompts you to be present while you're doing it?
Like I said, this is not the be all and end all of handy tricks - it is a simple, purposeful, intentional thought and action to help you become aware of where you are at right now and what you need.
And then, it is in this head space that you are able to check in and see if help is needed.
How are you feeling?
Do you have aches and pains?
Do you have discomfort?
Are your muscles tight?
Is your jaw clenched?
Are your shoulders raised or relaxed?
Are you fidgeting and finding it hard to stop?
Are you sinking into your chair hoping for another 5 minutes because you don't want to go back to what you were doing?
Are you finally getting to stop and realise what is actually going on for you?
Business owners, entrepreneurs, creatives and those who are dreaming up big ideas and are yet to bring them to life, all have one thing in common. We push ourselves to the max.
Let’s change that shall we :)
I hope that the episode today is a little reminder to take the load off just for 5 minutes. To give yourself space and time. To relax your thoughts. And to check in on YOU. See how YOU are going. And to know that I am always here if ever you need to reach out for a chat. TEXT ME HERE. DM ME HERE.
So...
What is something little, simple, small, that brings you joy, that can help you become present and in the moment? That can help your mind SLOW DOWN and become aware of what you are actually doing. What can you do to trigger your thoughts into the now?
Send me a message and let me know what your answer is.
Tay xx
Looking for more?
I love to help rural creatives build an impactful small biz with heart and I do that through photography + business mentoring. If you want to learn more, head on over to our photography or mentoring pages here 🙂 Or send me a text, I can’t wait to chat with you xx